Romantic relationships, though it’s all rainbows and butterflies in the beginning, do not always end the way we hope they would. Most times, one person is left distraught with a bad case of a “broken heart.” How we choose to deal with these broken pieces can either deter or advance our personal growth.
I am a firm believer that we should first heal from a hurtful relationship before we move forward seeking for something new. Often times the quick solution for a broken heart is to put yourself out there and find someone to help you “heal” and forget, but this removes a very important period of finding wholeness in yourself, the period of self-healing.
What does self-healing imply?
Well, simply put, it means you don’t heal at the expense of others (aka, the rebound syndrome). Instead, you confront and deal with the emotions of your heart.
Before we can commit to someone we have to learn to love, and to love fully requires a heart that is whole, healthy and grounded. The Bible teaches us that the heart is deceitful above all things so we must learn to guard it. When we allow the heart to become polluted we are enabling it to triumph over the mind and do what it does best, deceive.
How do we pollute our hearts?
We pollute our hearts when we fail to deal with the emotions we are feeling and move forward with our broken pieces. We pile on a blur of sentiments that we cannot define because we have chosen to distract our heart rather than heal it.
In the words of Yung Pueblo, “Before I could release the weight of my sadness, I had to honor its existence.” We must accept and embrace our brokenness to be freed from its pain.
When you move forward in a relationship with your broken pieces you do not only deceive yourself, but your partner as well. You cut yourself short of a love that is pure, honest and faithful in all aspects.
When you seek healing at the expense of another you have already failed to love them fully. You come before them with your broken pieces and say “fix it.” – Are they not worthy of receiving a love that is whole rather than broken? –
Self-healing is a slow process, but it’s one of beauty, wisdom and grace.
Heartache can bring forth growth, but only when we find it within ourselves to overcome it. When we attempt to overcome at the mercy of others we prove to be immature and incapable of growing through a season that God intended for growth. Self-healing is a slow process, but it’s one of beauty, wisdom and grace. It builds our self-love and trust in the Almighty Creator who gives us the ability to love in the first place.
But for love to be FULL it requires, not just the Spirit of God among us, but the Spirit of God within us.
To love and feel loved is a deep spiritual experience. We cannot understand love, give love or receive love without the aid of the God of love. The Spirit of God that moves among us is what allows love to exist in this broken world. But for love to be FULL it requires, not just the Spirit of God among us, but the Spirit of God within us. It is through His Spirit alone that we can love as He intended. When we truly grasp this truth we will understand that love begins within us.
So, embrace yourself. Love yourself.
Be patient through the heartache.
Know that you are sufficient. Know that God’s overwhelming, incomparable love is always present. Let that love and truth reign in your heart.
There is beauty in the brokenness. There is strength in accepting your weaknesses.
Confront your emotions. Feel. Cry if you must.
But do not offer your broken pieces expecting someone else to mend them. Rather, offer your mended heart, scarred because it has a past, but whole because it has learned to seek love from within.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
May your day be graciously adventurous,